Stomach problems

Up until last week I had eaten happily everything Peruvian cuisine had to offer, and the commonplace diarrhoea was all I had had. On Monday evening, however, the most horrible stomach disease ever hit me, and I kept throwing up through the entire night – worst night of my life. First I thought it was mere food poisoning, but since by Thursday I wasn’t feeling much better, I figured it must be something else and went to see a doctor. The diagnosis was a stomach infection, probably due to the glass of water I had been served at a café on Monday afternoon. I did suspect the water hadn’t been boiled, but since I’d seen local friends drink tap water, I thought it was no big deal. Big mistake!

The doctor prescribed me some herbs and other natural products (thanks to the Amazon rainforest, Peru is incredibly rich in traditional medicine), and told me to eat only cream crackers, pears, sweet apples, peaches, chicken soup, and gelatine for the next three days. I started feeling quite fine during the weekend, got sick of chicken soup, gave up on the diet, and had chicken with French fries on Sunday evening – and got ill again.

I had another doctor’s appointment on Monday, and the physician reckoned that my organism is not used to the sky-high amount of unsaturated fats Peruvian food contains and cannot stand them, at least not now that I’m still recovering from the stomach infection. That may well be true, considering that in Finland everything is salt-free, fat-free, calorie-free and sugar-free to the point that it’s scary. I got another set of instructions and a long list of foods I must not eat for 15 days: red meat, fats, spices, alcohol, coffee, chocolate, soft drinks, egg yolk, avocados, mangos, oranges, bananas, butter.

I feel ridiculous every time I go to a restaurant (twice a day, that is), because I have to ask a million questions about the food: Which dish contains the least amount of fat? Has the water surely been boiled? Is there red meat in the soup? Oh, there is. Is there any alternative first dish? No? I’m sorry, but I’ll have to go someplace else then... But on the other hand, now I’m feeling perfectly fine, something I’ve really come to value lately. When I was at my worst, I got really homesick for the first time here, and actually toyed with the idea of giving up and flying home.

On every second streetlight pole there is an advertisement saying Pierda peso en 7 días, Lose weight in 7 days. I could patent my own miraculous cure of the same sort, tried and tested. I don’t guarantee it works for locals, but for foreigners it is sure to be efficient. Nice and simple: drink un-boiled tap water, and you can eat next to nothing for the following week – you’re bound to lose some kilos. It is pure torture, I admit, but isn’t it a known fact that one must make sacrifices for the sake of looks?
P.S. Don’t try!